PoorAss Hilton
(aka. Paris Hilton's Newest Fashion Accessory)

PerezHilton.com -- Now with 10% real content!

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Ms. PoorAss Hilton, at your service!  

Hello everyone!

This is a new era for PoorAss Hilton. I have happily agreed to contribute my time, energy, thoughts and rants to this wonderful site. I was honored to be asked to help out, as I believe in my heart of hearts that we are onto something good here. OR bad here, since it is about Perez. ;-)

Of course, I am very sad that PAH is leaving, but I assure you that I will do my best to ensure that the beat keeps on beating strong. I have been griping about Perez for a little too long, and hoped for an outlet such as this to be born, a Perez platform where we are among our own.

Who is Ms. PoorAss Hilton?

Like many of you, I am a gossip hound, it is my job to surf the web reading the gossip sites. I live in NYC – the greatest city of all, which gives me an almost inherent dose of sarcasm. I am 30 years old, too old to care about Perez, but too involved in celebrity gossip to not. I care about honest journalism, and the Pretzel just twists that idea up!

What is my deal with Perez? Well, like PAH, I neither hate or like him. I am insanely addicted to his column in the same way a dog that has been kicked returns to his owner. I have been increasingly annoyed with how he conducts himself, annoyed with irrelevant posts about which celebrity he is “friends” with, annoyed with how cocky, conceited and cruel he can be. Most of all, I am annoyed that when i read his site, I am filled with the sense that I am back in high school - a really bad, fuschia pink nightmare of a high school- where I am continuously witness to the wannabe cool dude’s idea that he is too cool for a pink school, which he painted himself. Perez is not cool. My first whiffs of that sulfur smell transmitting from his page was a night when he hung out with Lindsay Morgan Lohan.

It just reeked, and there was nothing relevant in it at all. I think that the breaking point for me was the day when I logged onto to the site to see “the Simple life” background image splashed alongside a huge 728 banner on the top of the screen. For those of you who remembered when his site first began, he had many posts about Paris. Now, you can’t see anything real about her (like when she crashed her car etc etc etc etc) Sellout was sold, and it really just pissed me off. Not to mention the lame painting over crotches of people – yawn. And the handwriting rivals that of a fourth grader – which is appropriate being that the comments read like that too!

Enough about me, I want to hear from you! I think that maybe a little session of how we all came to this site, when our breaking points were with Perez are in order. I would also love some ideas as to what kinds of posts you would like to see from me, and ways that we can keep rolling out the pink “perezzle” poo poo platform!

Whoreanusly yours,
Ms. PoorAss Hilton

     [ by Ms.PoorAssHilton, 6/27/2006   --


At June 27, 2006 9:41 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...



At June 27, 2006 9:41 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

woo hoo! don't stop!!! love this site!

At June 27, 2006 10:12 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

DON'T GO!!!!!!!!!...........Seriously, what would it take for you to continue??

At June 27, 2006 10:19 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, you sound great! Nice to meet you, Ms. Poor Ass!

To answer your interesting "breaking point with Perez" question ... I always found Perez to be pretty unctuous, ass-kissy, and annoying. I started becoming super-annoyed at all his misspellings, especially of celebrities names. I mean, how the eff can you run a celeb blog and spell everybody's names wrong?

Anyway, I complained about his illiteracy once or twice in the comments and I got instantly flamed by someone accusing me of being "dlisted" (I later found out this referred to an awesome rival celeb blog). Then I noticed that a similar type of flame/spam was ALL OVER Perez's somments. It was totally out control, especially in the Brangelina threads.

It suddenly occurred to me that Perez wasn't just some toolish famewhore who couldn't spell -- he was hated in the blog world, his comments got spammed 24/7, he attracted crazies, and a great deal of his non-spam comments seemed to be written by the same person. Who was probably Perez (I think he "pads" his comments to this day)!

This is my long-winded way of saying that once I started paying attention, the seediness of his little enterprise (and his whole alter-ego, for that matter) started to seep out all over. He's grotesquely fascinating. Well, at least he is when I'm killing time on the Web. :p

Best of luck to you!

At June 27, 2006 10:31 AM, Blogger Ronny said...

Welcome Ms PAH. Long live PAH!

We love him and thank him for getting this started.

At June 27, 2006 10:41 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Ms. Poor Ass, so glad this site will go on!

The last straw for me was when Perez completely ignored the Brandon Davis "firecrotch" incident. That was so far over the line, and Parasite so deserved to be trashed for her participation and Perez COMPLETELY ignored it. Since then, Dlisted has been my gossip blog of choice.

By the way, did you hear that Parasite broke up Jose Theodore's EIGHT YEAR relationship? Not if Perezhilton is the only place you go for celebrity dirt, that's for sure.

Good luck and thanks for staying!

At June 27, 2006 10:43 AM, Anonymous tonya said...

I am also addicted to Perez's site like the dog who has been kicked but I log on to get a laugh and to bash him in his comments section. Every once in an occasional blue moon, he has something interesting, VERY RARELY, but for the most part, I used to like his site, last year when I first read it. Now he's a fatass, loser, sellout. He used to post news about everyone, no one was off limits, but now that Paris wised up and made "friends" w/him, he won't say one bad thing about her. We all know how she is, and that's the funny part. She's famous for NOTHING and does nothing but idiotic things, but yet, he posts none of it.

I very much dislike him now. I wouldn't say I hate anyone, but he's close.

I am glad to see this page is staying up. We need somewhere like this to show others how he is.

Nice to meet you!!


At June 27, 2006 11:04 AM, Blogger Ms.PoorAssHilton said...

Hi everyone! Thanks for the lovely welcome. It is a pleasure to bring you more posts, I just hope I can fill these shoes!

PAH will be in and out, you don't think he can leave that easily? We wouldn't let him anyway.

Please email me any tips, or rantings that should make it as posts. We aren't all here for just me to rant, this is an OPEN bitch session, and I look forward to us all moving along together!

At June 27, 2006 11:12 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Google "poorasshilton" and "perezhilton" comes up second on the hits, because PAH appears so often in the comments on that hideous site. We need to say perezhilton.com in every single comment we make here, so PAH shows up second when googling Perez!

BTW, perezhilton.com completely blows.

At June 27, 2006 11:43 AM, Blogger Ms.PoorAssHilton said...

"Google "poorasshilton" and "perezhilton" comes up second on the hits, because PAH appears so often in the comments on that hideous site."

Nice find! Thanks so much. Don't forget to shamlessly plug us anywhere you can. Or as I like to say, bitch slap the url just about everywhere.

I am currently trying to get some other bloggers that compete with Perez to post our url.

While I am at it: I saw this posted all over yesterday, and of course Mr.PeePee posted it today, with a totally lameass comment for a gay man. Unless of course he is comparing booby sizes. Hee hee.
Of COURSE Perez is looking at her face!

At June 27, 2006 11:48 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You forgot to say perezhilton.com ;)

Which completely reeks, by the way!

No contest there, Perez has way bigger boobs!

At June 27, 2006 12:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i'm not pissed, per se (how could I be when I am on this site??) but can we lose the "first"s? That was the first sign of deterioration on perez's site, even before he went to the Dark Side. That's when he started to think about how awesome he was, because people were just KILLING each other to be 'first'.
PS: Go Ms.PAH!

At June 27, 2006 12:53 PM, Anonymous Halo said...

Welcome Ms.PAH. Its always fantstic to find people who are equally disgusted with that sorry excuse for a journalist.

I became digusted with fatboy as soon as he started sucking the wind of Z-listers.

At June 27, 2006 2:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

do we click the "contact poorass" to email you ms poorass hilton?

At June 27, 2006 3:04 PM, Blogger Ms.PoorAssHilton said...

Yes, that is what you would click if you want to send me an email. I look forward to emails!


At June 27, 2006 4:52 PM, Blogger PoorAss Hilton said...


"It is a pleasure to bring you more posts, I just hope I can fill these shoes!"

They are big shoes... size 13 to be exact! hehe

At June 27, 2006 4:56 PM, Blogger PoorAss Hilton said...

"It suddenly occurred to me that Perez wasn't just some toolish famewhore who couldn't spell -- he was hated in the blog world"

My favorite had to be the article Gawker did. Even though they run a blog themselves, after seeing how Perez was acting they admitted that bloggers are, in fact, scum, hehe.

At June 27, 2006 8:42 PM, Blogger Bedazzler said...

Welcome Ms Poorass!!!
i FIRST DISCOVERED i WAS NOT ALONE WHEN I read some scathing posts on



I then took it upon myself to interview Perez to see what his reaction to these posts (he was so obviously reading)was.
That's when I learned what an egotistical, deluded, self-important tool he is! You can read my interviews (and a shameless plug for Poorass along the way) a few posts down on my site.
Brandon's NO1 fansite on the NETTE!

At June 27, 2006 8:45 PM, Anonymous Cat said...

Well, I only recently started reading celebrity gossip sites (really recently, like, two or three weeks ago) and perezhilton.com (like how I worked that in there?) was just the first one I stumbled upon in a fit of boredom. It took me about two days to realize that Perez is a total douchebag who thinks he's funny when really, he's just pathetic and bitter, not to mention an obvious sell-out with the writing skills of a four-year-old. So, now I read thesuperficial.com for my gossip. I still check out perezhilton.com for the photos, but I've given up reading the crap he writes about them, because reading his drivel makes me want to gouge my own eyes out with a red-hot poker.

At June 29, 2006 7:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I read the site back when it was pagesixsixsic.com and it was actually entertaining and ripped on everyone. Then when he changed it to www.perezhilton.com and chose that as his new name I was like whoa WTH is that about? Then he started hanging out with the pretty pretty princess hilton. He was so mean to Nick Carter just because of his friendship with the PPPH and the other day wouldnt even post the fact that the charges against Nick have been dropped in Key West. He would rather everyone think and continue to hate on the PPPH's enemys. That is just one of the many reasons he is a loser of the largest varietys.

At July 01, 2006 7:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Perez WANTS you to ring him up on the telephone!


(also known as Perez)

lives at:

WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA 90046 (323) 822-0392

This may be outdated:

NEW YORK, NY 10014
(212) 352-2033

Now that you have his phone number, call Perez and let him know what you think of:

-His outing other homosexuals
-His surly responses to fans
-His rapidly expanding waistline
-His self loathing
-Paris "Herpes" Hilton
-His claims of heterosexual activity with Vanessa
-His fear of Tyson Beckford
-His legal difficulties regarding stolen checks

It's peppered to call Perez - call him tonight!


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