PoorAss Hilton
(aka. Paris Hilton's Newest Fashion Accessory)

PerezHilton.com -- Now with 10% real content!

Sunday, July 08, 2007


Who wants this site to be live again?!  

So... it's been more then a year since I made my last regular post to this blog and handed the site off to Ms. PoorAss Hilton, but I'm very close to reopening it these days.

Perez's general douchery has gotten out of hand lately, and I think I need somewhere to bitch about that lameass again, as I'm sure many of you do as well.

So, if you would like to see this site up again (or if you're a fan of Perez's and you'd like your comment completely ignored), post a comment and let me know!

PoorAss Hilton

     [ by PoorAss Hilton, 7/08/2007   -- 21 comments ]




Friday, July 21, 2006


No, the site isn't live again!  

Sorry to all the Perez haters, but even though I'm making a post, this site isn't back up and running. It would be nice, but Perez just isn't worth the time and effort.

For some reason I decided to check the traffic stats for this site today, and to my surprise there are still people visiting!! hehe I can't believe the following this site got in such a short period of time.

Anyways, the reason I'm posting is because after I noticed there was still traffic coming to this site I figured I'd go see what idiotic BS Perez was up to today, and it's the same old shit!

Like, doesn't the guy get tired of being a complete fucking tool?! Although, I guess he actually thinks the shit he posts is funny... which is incredibly sad if you ask me.

I'm a pretty easy going guy, but for some reason that clusterfuck just pisses me right off. He thinks he has the right to make shit up about celebrities and call people ugly when they're obviously not, all the while he's an ugly, bloated, pathetic human being just wasting space on this planet.

I can't wait for the day when he wakes up and realized what a jackass he is, and that he has no real friends. Well, either that day or the day someone decides to shit kick him for being such a moron. Either one would make me smile.

Well, that's about it. I just felt like saying hi to the people that for some odd reason continue to visit this site, hehe.

Signed,

PoorAss Hilton

     [ by PoorAss Hilton, 7/21/2006   -- 23 comments ]




Sunday, July 09, 2006


One Last Thing....  

This was one of the last posts in the horrific title that Pretz gave. Ha ha.

Perez himself has done much worse than this (still love ya, honey).
Either way, you guys know you will ALL be back. How many people on here say they hate Perez come on EVERYDAY. Some of you even have anti-Perez websites. Yet you come on everyday. Do you think it matters if you love or hate him? No, as long as you are reading. Your damn sites (particularly poor ass hilton) only bring more hits to Perez because people want to cross reference what you are talking about on here. Its all in the hits, baby, not whether you like him.

     [ by Ms.PoorAssHilton, 7/09/2006   -- 9 comments ]




Peace. We're out!  

After much deliberation, the PoorAsses have decided to say farewell to this site, as well as that slimy sellout of a douchebag Perez.

Simply put, Perez isn't worth the time and effort. It's getting more and more painful to read the complete and utter crap that he posts on his site, and quite frankly, it's just boring.

The decision to close this site didn't come easy. However, the idea of the PoorAsses running off together to Hawaii in order to have hot, steamy, sweaty sex on the beach sounds like so much better of an idea then maintaining this site, so that's what we're going to do.

Quite frankly, we wish we'd never heard of that sellout douchebag, and we feel sorry for anyone that visits his site on a regular basis. Get lives people! But we thank everyone that came out to visit this site. You rock!

So have fun kids! It's time for us to catch our flight to Hawaii for some steamy times.

Signed,

The PoorAsses

     [ by PoorAss Hilton, 7/09/2006   -- 8 comments ]




Just Plain Bad Taste  

One of our readers Petrucchio, mentioned something about a posting title that Pretz did that was so classless and so just downright ill mannered.

It was called 'Separated by Laci' and had a picture of Amber Frey and Kim Stewart side by side. Now, they do strike an unusual resemblence to one another, but wouldn't it have been funnier had he said 'Separated by Rod' or Separated by a Trust Fund" or "Separated by Underwear" (since it is WELL known that Kim never has any on).

I was taken aback at this title, as we all know how a tragedy that case was. Whoever could use that as a title for a post, regardless of whether or not those girls look like is definatley worse off than I thought he was. Before I thought he was just a loser. Now I think he is scum with incredibly poor taste and a terrible filter for what is appropriate.

I went into the comments section, seeing that there were 147 posted. I am going to post some of them here. It was good to know that even Pretz fans can know right from wrong. He got quite a lashing. Hope he reads them.

"Yeah, they DO resemble each other...and you resemble an over-fucked asshole! Bringing up Laci is in poor taste and tacky, even for this website."

"It is very disgusting you use Laci's name in this Seperated segment. Both of those girl, Kimberly and Amber do look alike, incredibly, but using Laci's name in here is stupid."

"Gee Perex, I'm sure you wouldn't be making jokes if Laci were your daughter or sister."

"tsk tsk Perez - very harsh to revictimize for draw"

"do you have NO conscience? seperated by Laci is in POOR taste,even by your standards,get a clue Perez....the 'millions' of people who read this site are starting to..."

"This is the last time I read Perez Hilton! Horrible taste!"

"very tack. and how the hell is this gossip?"

"Please remove the title. I love this site but am more than disgusted you would write such a thing. Do the right thing and CHANGE it. I am relieved to see others felt the same. There are good people in the world."

"Nice choice of words, Perez. Way to be insensitive by using poor Laci's name where these two hoebags are pictured."

"wtf?? what does laci have to do with these two bitches?? that's just wrong!!
tacky, very tacky! please change the title."

"Please change the title. That is one of the most innappropriate things you could say. Nothing to joke about, a mother and unborn child being murdered."

"Perez I'm all for having fun but the Laci comment was in horrifyingly poor taste. To cast such a disrespectful light on her name is truly unacceptable. Please change the title, it isn't funny."

"As soon as I read the titel I thought, "wow, poor taste." I'm glad to see so many other readers agree. You should consider changing the title!"

"The general consensus seems to be overwhelmingly against your use of "Laci" to grab readers attention. Granted, it did immediately catch my eye, but I feel it is in extremely poor taste, even for you!"

"That title is completely lacking sensitivity and any semblance of taste. Please consider taking it down."

"Yes, please change the title. Laci Petterson should not be used as a joke.
They do look alike, so you did okay there, but for respect of Laci's family, please change it to something else."

"PEREZ - listen to your readers - take down her name - you don't have to go down that road."

"Please delete Laci Peterson's name from this. It's disgusting to bring her name into your column in such a trivial manner. I am a big fan of your site, but not a fan of this post."

"I have been to this site tons & tons of times. I PROMISE I will NEVER bring this site back up. Making fun (& sometimes harsh) is one thing. Bringing up someone who was decapitated & their child killed is Unspeakable!You are disgusting & soon will deal with Karma."

"I agree with the many other posts - the title is totally inappropriate. There was no reason to bring Laci's name into your post, you could have made the point just as easily using another headline. The poor woman was lied to and murdered, and there's no reason to use her name on your site - which is supposed to be about celebrity gossip, not quasi-lookalikes or victims of crime. Must be a slow day if you're stooping to this level to get attention."

"Wow, this is just horribly wrong. Shame on you Perez for trying to use Laci's name as part of your joke. Just poor taste. Please change it."

"Could not agree more with GOD BLESS US, EVERY ONE."

"u have no class perez. ur days are numbered."

"Everyone, please let us repeat this same message so Perez realizes that title is WRONG in every level:Please change the title. That is one of the most innappropriate things you could say. Nothing to joke about, a mother and unborn child being murdered."

"Jesus Perez, have you know sense of decency at all? Bringing Laci's name into what is supposed to be a celebrity gossip site, but isn't anymore? Laci still has parents and siblings who grieve for her everyday. Why dont you send me the name of someone close to you who you have mourned and I'll turn it into a worthless, thoughtless headline for ya. How 'bout it fat ass?"

"Perez do the right thing and take Laci's name out of it. What if her family sees this? Do you have a conscience?"

"you are a disgusting pig, how dare you use Laci's name for one of your pathetic jokes.What a low, vile, repulsive thing to do."

"who does this fat asshole thinks he is? how dare you make fun of a dead person?...unsensitive..totally unsensitive.."

"Perez could have easily made a "dig at the homely KS and the resemblence she bears to AF, a woman of dubious moral character" without using the name of a woman who was brutally murdered. That is highly uncalled for. But I guess it's like you say, you can't fix stupid!"

"I'm all for freedom of speech, but Laci Peterson is a touchy subject for not only her family, but millions of people across America. It's your site P, but it's still wrong."

"Geeze, Perez. I lose more and more respect for you every day.
You're turning into a kiss-ass jerk with a big head. Why did you have to post that????"

"I always knew you were an ass. Just not a completely insenstive one. Why is that even funny you ass? I live in the bay area and can't drive my the area where they found Laci's body and can't help thinking how senseless and sad it is she is not with this world anymore. You should go straight to hell.Or to prison with Scott - you'd get lots of action there. Pansy-ass."

"The Laci comment is perverse and completely unneccessary. Stupid, insensitive fuck."

"Since this has been up for awhile know I am sure perez has seen this. I am just as sure that at least one of the posters defending him is perez himself. He has left it up for the attention and the drama it is causing. Let's all stop giving him what he wants. I am sickened by you perez"

"Some things should remain sacred, such as an expecting mother who was murdered for no apparent reason. Shame on you, Perez."

"Grow somee balls perez and use your own name. It's obvious you posted under the name The Truth. Your really a piece of shit for not removing it. Karma is all I will say. And yes it does matter if people like you. Do you think Vh1 is going to want you to do any commentary if you pull shit like this? They won't want to touch you. No one will. A blog on the internet is one thing but representing someone else is another. Oh and E came out with a different name for Nick and Vanessa LOL. I am sure yours won't stick. The whole purpose was to combine a name to make it shorter. Enjoy your 15 minutes."

"I believe what perez said was very uncalled for and insensitive. He could of used several other phrases to compare the two instead of using laci's. I know this is his so called site but lately he has been completly rude towards everyone and none the bit funny. I believe that was a good point about Matthew Shepperd that would of offended people the same yet perez proally would stoop that low to say something. He as of the late has been on some stupid gay crusade to out every person in hollywood. Thats also insensitive I'm sure he knows what that may feel like. Leave Laci alone and here family. How about we come up with a far better title and change the post."



Whoreanusly yours,
Ms. PoorAss Hilton

     [ by Ms.PoorAssHilton, 7/09/2006   -- 6 comments ]




Saturday, July 08, 2006


I Can See Clearly Now....  

Hello everyone,

I was just cruising Pretz's site (something I am becoming less entertained with) and realized that he gets most of his new news from his "boardroom". So essentially, he isn't a gossip hound like he claims to be, he merely puts the word out that he wants news, and lets the minions get it for him. What kind of nose for news is that? He is so busy taking bad pictures of himself with celebrities using the same pose that he can't even be a journalist. Not that he ever was. Again, I don't want to drive traffic to his site, so here is one post, where all of the hyperlinks (which I bolded) led to the "boardroom". It seems as though "Wonderwoman" is the main gopher. Dude, she should be selling her shit for real, instead of giving it up to some heffed out wannabe.

- Minnillo BlahNick get their sexy on together...in public!

- The Spellings are not the only Hollywood family that hate each other. Tatum O'Neal admits that her father and ex of Farrah Fawcett, Ryan, hates her guts.

- Speaking of famous families. Hilton sister Nicky has announced plans to open her own hotel. The first one will debut in our hometown of Miami.

- Is Michael Jackson paying off another sex abuse victim???

- Robert Downey, Jr. plans to write an autobiography. Don't give Andy Dick any ideas!

- This bitch is set to (temporarily) replace Star Jones on The View.

- Madonna and Guy Ritchie have moved past divorce rumors. Now the buzz is that the two plan to adopt another child.

- Are Kid Rock and Pamela Anderson back together???

and

- The juiciest rumor of the week.....are Nicole Richie and Jeff Goldblum a hot new couple????


I am getting bored with Pretz.
Whoreanusly yours,
Ms. PoorAss Hilton

     [ by Ms.PoorAssHilton, 7/08/2006   -- 12 comments ]




Thursday, July 06, 2006


Dissecting Attitude  

This was an article from (www.attitude.co.uk) that Perez posted on his site this morning. I will not link back to P's site anymore, as I don't want to generate more traffic for him. I deleted some nonsense paragraphs...sorry.


GOSSIP QUEEN:
Outscooping all the gossip weeklies, friend of Paris Perez Hilton's
gossip blog is the one stop pit stop for all teen queen junkies.


Now, we all know he doesn't even come close to outscooping the other sites, and that the only insiders he gets are from press people he is friends with. However, "one pit stop shop for all teen queen junkies" sums up the site very well.

Perez Hilton is a very modern phenomenon. Queen of the gossip bloggers, his audacious website gets 700,000 visitors a day. His online persona is bitchy, funny and, most pleasingly, smart. Though resident in the Hollywood - where else? - Attitude caught up with him in London. From the comfort of his suite, Perez peered salaciously from above a vodka cocktail and told us: "I live, breathe and bathe in scandal." Honey, who doesn't?

"pleasingly smart"??? In my mind smart is somone who is witty and not lame, who is inventive and not a copy cat, and someone who doesn't need to write petty little things in childlike scrawl over pictures of people.


Who are your favourite celebrities to blog on?
A whole bunch. I love the good, the bad and the ugly. I love Tom Cruise, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Jake Gyllenhaal. I love British celebrities! I adore Jordan and Posh Spice. Oh, and I love Jodie Marsh. Everyone is really ridiculous and entertaining in their own way.

Aren't you friends with Paris now?
I'm really good friends with Paris. She's actually one of my best friends, which is so weird. Like, we talk everyday and see each other at least once a week. She's really cool and I don't care if people don't like her. She's a really smart cookie. I stopped caring about making friends with celebrities quite early on.It's not the best idea to be friends with someone when you are trashing them and, ultimately, that's what I do. Now I can't necessarily call Paris a "nasty disease-ridden whore". She's my friend and she'll beat me up [dirty cackle]. But I can still think it...

He stopped caring about making friends with celebrities? WTF?? Maybe its that vodka tonic he is sipping down clouding the reality. That is the biggest fart from his mouth to date....He must not remember these pictures...in fact the one with Jessica Simpson was titled "Kicking it with the Stars".











(Notice how the buttons on his shirt are DYING to bust off of his gut?)







A common theme of your site is that a lot of celebrities are gay?
Oh, I think everyone's gay. Isn't it fun!

Jake Gyllenhaal's a hot contender?
To be honest I don't actually think Jake is gay. I just think that it's fun to make out that he's gay. Ryan Seacrest? Now that's a different matter...

It's fun to think that everyone is gay? What are we - 10? That statement alone....Ohhh, I know how to have fun!! Let's think everyone is gay! How fun! Really, who thinks that is fun besides Pretz?

What's been your proudest moment so far?
Brad and Angelina, without a doubt. I christened Brangelina! I broke the story that they were a couple. I remember the day vividly: it was late April 2005 and one of my sources was way ahead of everyone else. He told me that Brad and Angelina were on vacation together in Africa, and at this point they were still saying they were just friends and I was like, oh my god, you don't go on vacation together to Africa if you are just friends. So I posted that and nobody believed me. But it soon turned out there had been an agreement with the paparazzi and because the internet is so quick, I'd got it first. It crashed my website. I was bombarded by traffic. It was such an exhilarating day.

Can this be verifyied by anyone? Do I need to do research on this?

What's next for Perez?
I have been pitching a reality TV show based on my crazy life which hopefully will get picked up. We have pitched to E! amongst others and it's looking pretty positive. I am also working on a book. I didn't want to write the stupid Nicole Ritchie book, but I want to write a really cool non-fiction coffee table book. Something like me. Fun, breezy and sexy. Ha ha ha!

Fun, breezy and sexy? Has he seen this pitcure?


That is as sexy as a dog licking his nuts. Or something in that arena.

Whoreanusly yours,
Ms. PoorAss Hilton

     [ by Ms.PoorAssHilton, 7/06/2006   -- 13 comments ]




Tuesday, July 04, 2006


Happy 4th - a Repost of My 2 Cents  

Pretzle is the Winner!!! The Pretz has landed.

I am not totally agreeing with his supposed hatred of blacks. I think it is much more simple than that. I think he hates anyone who doesn't love his site. Plain and simple. He is wishy washy. One day he calls Janet fat, the next he touts her hot bod. He always loves Beyonce. Tyson, well obviously Pretzle hit on him or something and that is why the disdain.

Pretzle is a poseur. That is the worst degrading comment my friends and I could think of. Even worse than "cum guzzling gutter slut" which came really, really close. He might be that too, but bottom line, he is a wannabe poseur.

POSEUR: One who affects a particular attribute, attitude, or identity to impress or influence others.

LMAO. Sooooo the Pretz.

Whoreanusly yours,
Ms. PoorAss Hilton

     [ by Ms.PoorAssHilton, 7/04/2006   -- 18 comments ]




Monday, July 03, 2006


Just For The Fun Of It - A Photo Montage  



Don't know how many of you remember when Pretzle went to Amsterdam. But I do. I remember because mostly all he did was post things about how cool he was, or how wasted he was, or how hot he was. Okay so he didn't post how hot he was,cuz he MUST have a mirror...but anyhoo, this is one of my favorite pics that he posted. Look at how squinty his eyes are. What a nerd.




This picture gave me bad dreams for awhile. I don't know if it is his belly that protrudes from his robe, or if it looks like he can eat that man he is hugging for an appetizer. Or if it is his partner, and in that case I have too many vivid pictures of them doing the deed and that kind of scares me. Don't get me wrong, I live in NYC, I am rainbow flag friendly, but generally like to NOT imagine what it is like for men. (DISCLAIMER: But I want all homosexuals to be happy forever, and see no boundaries in who you choose to love.) That said, doesn't Pretzle look pretty white and fluffy???? This pic might be from Sundance.



Doesn't he look like a great big giant pink twinkie? Or rather a snowball??? Are those things pink? Whatever the case, WTF???? Who wears an outfit like that? Is this a secret love message to 'Pink is the New Blog' author Trent??? Go to town folks, go to TOWN!!!

That's all folks.

Whoreanusly yours,
Ms. PoorAss Hilton

     [ by Ms.PoorAssHilton, 7/03/2006   -- 18 comments ]