PoorAss Hilton
(aka. Paris Hilton's Newest Fashion Accessory)

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Monday, June 26, 2006


Not For The Faint Of Heart!  

Faded Youth/Celebrity Terrorist and Oh No They Didn't have both posted articles about our dear friend Perez today. I'm not exactly sure which one was first, as FY/CT doesn't show a timestamp, so I'll give both of the links here. (UPDATE: Faded Youth/Celebrity Terrorist was the original source of this story).

These articles show Perez's active online dating profile, including pics that are so old you might not even recognize the guy, along with pictures of his, well, you know what. My eyes are still burning.

If you want the "unit optional" version of the pictures you might want to check out the Faded Youth article.

"In their AIM chat (which I have a word-for-word copy of), Perez claimed they were recent. And by recent I think he means many moons and many Twinkies ago. He later went on to say he's looking for bareback sex and suggested smoking crystal meth -- though he didn't have the goods or the means of acquiring it himself."

"PEREZ HILTON EXPOSED" - Faded Youth/Celebrity Terrorist

"HAHA Perez goes Pete Wentz's Style!" - Oh No They Didn't

I can't even comment on this shit... the pictures and writeups on these two sites say it all (and show it all, unfortunately).

Thanks to *tara, Ms. X, Poptart501 & Jen for sending this stuff in!

     [ by PoorAss Hilton, 6/26/2006   --




22 Comments:

At June 26, 2006 3:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

MY EYESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!

 
At June 26, 2006 3:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This article is great....

http://www.pajiba.com/perez-hilton.htm

 
At June 26, 2006 3:12 PM, Blogger PoorAss Hilton said...

^^^ - Yeah, there were a few good laughs in that one for sure.

If you liked that one you might like some of the other ones on this article too.

 
At June 26, 2006 3:12 PM, Anonymous Ms. X said...

I couldn't stop laughing this morning after I saw that article! What an assclown he is!

Thanks, PA for posting this so we can all see what a fuck he really is. (pun intended)

 
At June 26, 2006 3:14 PM, Blogger Kontradiction said...

thank you, oh thank you. i'mma really enjoying this article! :)

 
At June 26, 2006 3:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think I'm going to be sick :(

 
At June 26, 2006 4:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Recently, we have focused on Perez's homosexuality (assuming the repeated assaults on his asshole from angry penises accounts for him to be a self-loathing homo with an ascerbic personality and sociopathic pathology), his morbid obesity (assuming his closet case childhood and adulthood causes him to be a self-loathing homo with an ascerbic personality and sociopathic pathology), or his Marielito heritage (assuming his criminal and cujo origins cause him to be a self-loathing homo with an ascerbic personality and sociopathic pathology). Upon reflection, we understand these assumptions are stereotypical and erroneous.

There are a plethora of reasons to hate Perez besides his buggery and love of sodomy, morbid obesity, criminal and cujo origins, ascerbic personality, and fucked up perspective. The principal reason to hate Perez is that he is a crook.

Perez is a crook because he takes payola from Paris Hilton and other starlets, record companies and recording artists, and others to promote defective wares. His practice of payola is crooked because it is undisclosed, and allegedly causes his moronic readership to purchase shit music on his advice without knowing that he is paid to flack said shit music.

A person doesn't have to be a homo, a Marielito, or a fatass to be a crook. Rather, he just has to lack a moral compass; to be willing to sell what passes for his soul to the highest or lowest bidder; to be berefit of integrity or conscience. And so, we hate Perez not because he takes it up the ass, not because he is a self loathing fatass poofah, because of his low originals, and not even for his ascerbic personality. We hate Perez because he is a sociopath, without conscience or integrity, without morals or consideration for his fellow human beings.

The United States is a wonderful country in many ways. One of them is that its citizenry are immune from consequences from criticizing a person, such as Perez, who has become a public figure by injecting himself into the limelight. While we and Perez's advertisers should be duly skeptical of his claims that 700,000 hits per day on his website equates for 700,000 different readers (since many of us hit his website 20 or more times a day to taunt Perez), we can be absolutely certain that he cannot be be libeled by whatever we say. God bless America!

And so I say: Sit down with your laptop. Mix a stiff martini or three. And by all means continue to make fun of Perez's perchant for buggery and sodomy! Continue to make fun of his morbid obesity, his pink and sky blue polyester leisure suits his belly and fat ass bulge out of, his outcast status among the Hollywood D list, his low origins, and the like. He is not worthy of our respect, and so deserves our scorn.

It's also fun.

PS - also, feel free to hate Perez because he:

-Holds children up to public ridicule (more of that self-loathing homo personna; he can't have children, so he hates the children of others);

-Wishes a known heroin addict stays on junk for his amusement;

-Encourages a known alcoholic to continue drinking for his amusement;

-Outs in the closet homos (more of that self-loathing homo pathology.

One can of his website should easily convince a rational person of the repulsive human being that Perez has become. We need not tolerate a person like Perez. So continue to rain abuse on the fat ass until he points a loaded revolver to his left temple and creates a new wallpaper pattern with his shit for brains on the wall behind him.

 
At June 26, 2006 4:39 PM, Anonymous KBomb said...

Hi PAH-
I am glad that somebody did this, I have been mulling over the idea of starting a blog to muse over the antics of not only Perez, but all of these other people who clearly do not know what to do with their money.
Unfortunately, like a bad case of chicken pox that I keep scratching until I scab, I am addicted in a sick sort of way to Mario's site. Not because he has any "real" news (but again is gossip mongoring "news") but mostly because it is humourous to me.
Why is it humourous? Because he is SO full of himself no wonder he is as tubby as he is. Because I think that his tongue must have sores on it from all of that ass licking it does. Because it is sooo clear that the "celebrity" friends that he has just want good press. I haven't read any news on his site, that isn't offered on some other gossip sites first. The only firsts he posts are the ones where he is involved, and that isn't news, that is just some dude at a party showing pictures of himself with his "friends". Totally lame.
Still, like any addict, I keep going back to see what trash comes out of Marios mouth.
I might be jealous that Perez funds an apartment on each side of the country, however I wouldn't sell my soul to get that.
I don't like him or hate him. I just think that he thinks that he is way cooler than he actually is, and for some reason, that annoys me.The only original thing he has done is...hmmm....yea. I guess there isn't any originality.

 
At June 26, 2006 5:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

June 26, 2006 4:25 PM

^ lol funny post

sadly..you're the reason why Perez haters will never succeed in taking him down. with just one post you managed to 1)prove that you're not better than him, if not more vile and hainous 2) provided him the argument that he's justified in doing what he does.

sorry but most perez haters are not consistent with themselves, that's why they'll never succeed in convincing anyone that their way is better. in fact your work is very conterproductive which is why perez keeps getting bigger and bigger.

 
At June 26, 2006 5:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just wish Much Music would stop kissing his ass.

 
At June 26, 2006 5:49 PM, Anonymous TONYA said...

I have to agree with the first poster....

MY EYES!!!!!!!!! I have gone blind from the trauma!!!!!!

To the poster above me ^^^:

Much Music is crappy anyway. They swarm to him like flies to sh*t.

 
At June 26, 2006 7:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

fadedyouth posted the story, ONTD credited FY as their source.

 
At June 26, 2006 7:19 PM, Anonymous Life's a bitch and so am I said...

***sorry but most perez haters are not consistent with themselves, that's why they'll never succeed in convincing anyone that their way is better. in fact your work is very conterproductive which is why perez keeps getting bigger and bigger. *****

He's not getting bigger or better, he's now turning to plagiarism to boost his weak out put - not the first or the last time.

He's lost many advertisers, even his BBF's banner ad for The Simple Life. *boo hoo*

The amount of people commenting has dropped significantly, and most of the comments are outright attacks on Senor Fatass.

No other bloggers link him anymore, he's a pariah in the blogsphere.

You are very observant are you? He's going down, and fast.

Oh and Hi Peereez, nice of you to try to skew reality!!

 
At June 26, 2006 8:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

He's lost many advertisers, even his BBF's banner ad for The Simple Life. *boo hoo*

Have you not noticed that he upped his prices a few months ago? or that other bloggers are struggling to bring in sponsors despite huge traffic?

The amount of people commenting has dropped significantly, and most of the comments are outright attacks on Senor Fatass.

True. But is he losing popularity? Nope. People still read his content. this blog certainly hangs on to every word he says and analyzes it!

No other bloggers link him anymore, he's a pariah in the blogsphere.

They still talk about him which is the same thing. And as an avid internet surfer i can tell you that i see his name/site pop more than ever on forums. you'll just have to take my word for it I guess.

You are very observant are you? He's going down, and fast.

Not as long as you villify him and help spread his gospel.

 
At June 26, 2006 8:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"True. But is he losing popularity? Nope. People still read his content. this blog certainly hangs on to every word he says and analyzes it!"

You are really deluded if you believe that people hang on to his every word and analyze it. He STEALS from everywhere else. The times I've read him I'm driven to point out that his material was either stolen or made up.

Perez is a joke. Few bloggers link him because they realize he's a thief and has worthless content.

 
At June 26, 2006 8:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

^ then stop magnifying that insignificant and pathetic human being!!..arrgh are you that stupid?

 
At June 26, 2006 8:58 PM, Anonymous Life's a bitch and so am I said...

Apparently you don't understand "unique visits" to a web page. You can raise your rates to the roof but without unique traffic you are worthless, which is why he's got little or no advertising, which is how he earns a living, the rest of the things he does aren't paying gigs. So he's a broke ass blogger.

Sorry you sit around and analyze anything that idiot says or thinks, honestly he's the shame of the Tisch School. Nobody else is analyzing what Perezzle is saying, he's a mong.

As far as linking, and talking shit about someone, yeah there is a BIG difference. Perhaps one to subtle for you?

 
At June 26, 2006 9:00 PM, Anonymous Snow White said...

I have a question about his personal ad *gag* WTF is pig play? or WD?

Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig Plaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! *snicker* So appropriate.

 
At June 26, 2006 9:05 PM, Blogger PoorAss Hilton said...

Life's a bitch and so am I

That one's cracked me up for a while now, how it always says "hits" instead of "unique visitors". Depending on who's definition you're using, "hits" could mean every single item that's on the page, not just the page itself.

So if you have a page with 10 images on it for example, every time it loads there would be 11 hits recorded. 1 for the page itself and one for each of the 10 images. Using this definition of hits 700,000 really isn't all that impressive.

Perez uses "hits" instead of "unique visitors" because 700,000 will sound mighty impressive compared to the number of uniques he probably gets on a daily basis. And for the record, a newer article I saw said 600,000, so his traffic's definitely gone down.

 
At June 26, 2006 10:53 PM, Blogger Bedazzler said...

The review of his site at Pajiba is great...
---------------------------------------------
THE TRUTH ABOUT PEREZ HILTON
TWO INTERVIEWS UP
http://lemaisondebrandon.blogspot.com/
Brandon's NO1 fansite on the NETTE!
---------------------------------------------

 
At June 27, 2006 6:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

And for the record, a newer article I saw said 600,000, so his traffic's definitely gone down.

Hold up -- you saw an article that said Perez's numbers are down and you didn't link to it here? Whyever not? Don't you think that's something that Perez haters might be interested in?

Could you at least please provide a link to this article now?

 
At June 27, 2006 7:23 AM, Blogger PoorAss Hilton said...

^^^ - Good lord, I can't believe I forgot to post that... I even have a note about it saved on my desktop. Probably got sidetracked responding to comments :P

It was in the CBC article that Perez published on his site this past Thursday.

See it here.

See, I do research... I just forget to post it, LOL!

 

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