PoorAss Hilton
(aka. Paris Hilton's Newest Fashion Accessory)

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Thursday, July 06, 2006

Dissecting Attitude  

This was an article from (www.attitude.co.uk) that Perez posted on his site this morning. I will not link back to P's site anymore, as I don't want to generate more traffic for him. I deleted some nonsense paragraphs...sorry.

Outscooping all the gossip weeklies, friend of Paris Perez Hilton's
gossip blog is the one stop pit stop for all teen queen junkies.

Now, we all know he doesn't even come close to outscooping the other sites, and that the only insiders he gets are from press people he is friends with. However, "one pit stop shop for all teen queen junkies" sums up the site very well.

Perez Hilton is a very modern phenomenon. Queen of the gossip bloggers, his audacious website gets 700,000 visitors a day. His online persona is bitchy, funny and, most pleasingly, smart. Though resident in the Hollywood - where else? - Attitude caught up with him in London. From the comfort of his suite, Perez peered salaciously from above a vodka cocktail and told us: "I live, breathe and bathe in scandal." Honey, who doesn't?

"pleasingly smart"??? In my mind smart is somone who is witty and not lame, who is inventive and not a copy cat, and someone who doesn't need to write petty little things in childlike scrawl over pictures of people.

Who are your favourite celebrities to blog on?
A whole bunch. I love the good, the bad and the ugly. I love Tom Cruise, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Jake Gyllenhaal. I love British celebrities! I adore Jordan and Posh Spice. Oh, and I love Jodie Marsh. Everyone is really ridiculous and entertaining in their own way.

Aren't you friends with Paris now?
I'm really good friends with Paris. She's actually one of my best friends, which is so weird. Like, we talk everyday and see each other at least once a week. She's really cool and I don't care if people don't like her. She's a really smart cookie. I stopped caring about making friends with celebrities quite early on.It's not the best idea to be friends with someone when you are trashing them and, ultimately, that's what I do. Now I can't necessarily call Paris a "nasty disease-ridden whore". She's my friend and she'll beat me up [dirty cackle]. But I can still think it...

He stopped caring about making friends with celebrities? WTF?? Maybe its that vodka tonic he is sipping down clouding the reality. That is the biggest fart from his mouth to date....He must not remember these pictures...in fact the one with Jessica Simpson was titled "Kicking it with the Stars".

(Notice how the buttons on his shirt are DYING to bust off of his gut?)

A common theme of your site is that a lot of celebrities are gay?
Oh, I think everyone's gay. Isn't it fun!

Jake Gyllenhaal's a hot contender?
To be honest I don't actually think Jake is gay. I just think that it's fun to make out that he's gay. Ryan Seacrest? Now that's a different matter...

It's fun to think that everyone is gay? What are we - 10? That statement alone....Ohhh, I know how to have fun!! Let's think everyone is gay! How fun! Really, who thinks that is fun besides Pretz?

What's been your proudest moment so far?
Brad and Angelina, without a doubt. I christened Brangelina! I broke the story that they were a couple. I remember the day vividly: it was late April 2005 and one of my sources was way ahead of everyone else. He told me that Brad and Angelina were on vacation together in Africa, and at this point they were still saying they were just friends and I was like, oh my god, you don't go on vacation together to Africa if you are just friends. So I posted that and nobody believed me. But it soon turned out there had been an agreement with the paparazzi and because the internet is so quick, I'd got it first. It crashed my website. I was bombarded by traffic. It was such an exhilarating day.

Can this be verifyied by anyone? Do I need to do research on this?

What's next for Perez?
I have been pitching a reality TV show based on my crazy life which hopefully will get picked up. We have pitched to E! amongst others and it's looking pretty positive. I am also working on a book. I didn't want to write the stupid Nicole Ritchie book, but I want to write a really cool non-fiction coffee table book. Something like me. Fun, breezy and sexy. Ha ha ha!

Fun, breezy and sexy? Has he seen this pitcure?

That is as sexy as a dog licking his nuts. Or something in that arena.

Whoreanusly yours,
Ms. PoorAss Hilton

     [ by Ms.PoorAssHilton, 7/06/2006   --


At July 06, 2006 2:17 PM, Blogger George M. said...

Mz, you stir my loins and make me as horny as a dog licking his pink cockhead. Any chance of meeting you?

At July 06, 2006 3:19 PM, Anonymous DJ Funshine said...

Oh my God that hair is worse than Rosie O'Donnell's Flock of Seagulls catastrophe. Why can't he just implode already?

Love the site! I'm so glad someone finally set this up!

At July 06, 2006 3:26 PM, Anonymous Crystal said...


At July 06, 2006 6:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Smart? If you consider Corky of "life goes on" smart I guess, possibly. Mario could have escaped from a group home and it wouldn't surprise me one bit.

At July 06, 2006 6:10 PM, Blogger Kontradiction said...

OR it's just about as sexy as a fat man in a speedo at the beach.....say..is that the Pretzle I spy with My scandalous eye?

At July 06, 2006 6:10 PM, Anonymous lindsay morgan lohan said...

Trouble in Paradise?

Hmmmmmm........seems our Peretzle is having some visible problems with Miss Lindsay. His recent posts are rife with hostility and back-handed insults! Not like our l'il Toadie, n'est-ce pas? When the celebs are doling out Swedish fish and a brief and insincere moment of offhanded attention to Our Boy as he stalks 'em at this-nightclub-or-that and finally cathes a glimpse...he can't stop with the shameless asskissing for weeks and weeks...pathetic.


I may have to change my handle soon.

At July 06, 2006 6:14 PM, Anonymous Life's a bitch and so am I said...

WTF is that bowl cut in the last picture, seriously he's got to have the biggest head on a human being - why would you want to accentuate your five-head like that?

I am still grossed out that vanessa whoever let him put his filthy,pig playing, salad tossing mouth on hers. I expect Nick will be brushing her off, right about now...

At July 06, 2006 6:38 PM, Blogger Ms.PoorAssHilton said...

OMG you guys make me giggle. flock of seagulls haircut, nice one! and we run, run so far away!!! we just can't get away! mario could have escaped from a group...eh yeah, it is the lonely loser poseur group in highschool. where he probably had french rolled jeans for WAY too long.
Fat man in a speedo, don't make me pee my pants. You guys are so funny. That is what I want. Some of the resonsibility to make this site great must fall on you guys. I get stale after time, the readers must keep us FRESH!!
OMG - you guys are making me laugh out loud. Keep it rolling!!

Whoreanusly yours,
Ms. PoorAss Hilton

At July 06, 2006 7:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I am also working on a book. I didn't want to write the stupid Nicole Ritchie book, but I want to write a really cool non-fiction coffee table book."

He seriously said that?? Yeah, because the book Paris "wrote" was fantastic...

what a TOOL!

At July 06, 2006 7:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

" I am also working on a book. I didn't want to write the stupid Nicole Ritchie book, but I want to write a really cool non-fiction coffee table book. "

Seriously, he said that?? Yeah, because the one Paris wrote was fantastic!

What a TOOL!

At July 06, 2006 8:44 PM, Blogger Bedazzler said...

I am pretty sure Perez's fat head is pushing everyone else out of the frame in that Jessica Simpson photo.
Brandon's NO1 fansite on the NETTE!

At July 08, 2006 5:42 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


Loyal blog fan

At July 08, 2006 7:57 AM, Blogger Ms.PoorAssHilton said...


Whoreanusly yours,
Ms. PoorAss Hilton


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