"It's Friday And..." (view)

AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... hold on, I need to take a break for a second here.

(changes his underwear after peeing himself)

And, I'm back. Sorry about that, I had to compose myself after nearly laughing to death.

Perez, you realize this isn't a magazine, right? You also realize it's a cheesy FREE newspaper that's just handed out around the city, right? You also know that the "Dose" newspaper isn't going to be around much longer, right?

Let me break it down for you Perez.

There were 3 of these free newspapers that started around the same time. "Dose", "24 Hours", and "Metro". However, the only one that's caught on is "24 Hours". Dose has been mocked and ridiculed since the day it was launched, and the readership has been dropping off more and more all the time.

From what I've heard Dose isn't going to be around much longer, so I hope you don't expect a follow-up article on you. And now that I see the kind of stories they're doing, I think I know why it's dying.

Proud to be in Dose, you fuckin' slay me Perez. Maybe you should try to get in The Enquirer next!

Oh, and by the way, the below snippet is the most retarded thing I've ever read. It just proves how delusional some of your readers really are:

"Please write more about youself Perez. Less celebs! And, more pictures of YOU!!! You're hotter than Brad Pitt."

UPDATE:

Apparently Dose isn't even handed out on the street anymore, nor is it available in curbside newspaper boxes, it's only available online. I guess they weren't making enough from adverisers to justify the printing costs. That must be one kickass paper!