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Quick Bitchings, By PoorAss Hilton |
I've tried. I've really, really tried. But Perez is just too much of an idiot for me to not say something about these posts.
"Superman Is Not Gay, Y'all!"
Just when you thought Perez's photoshopping couldn't get any more juvenile, he finds a way. I think he's trying to live out his GILF fantasies through others now.
"LongHOria By The Pool"
Perez, if this is what you call a huge ass, what the hell is yours? Is there even a word in the english language to describe something as monstrous as your flabby, cottage cheese infested rump?
"I'm Fired. Now Let's Go Eat!!!!"
We've already heard way too much about Star Jones lately Perez, why do you have to make up articles on her just to say something new? No no, you're right, those two swines are chowin' down on, oh, what is that stuff called... WATER!
There isn't a single crumb of food in that goddamn picture.
"Fill In The Blank"
Star magazine editorial director Bonnie Fuller is really hot, IF she was an ACTUAL celebrity and anyone gave two shits.
"Lindsay Wants To Get Dirrty"
WOW! Lindsay must have given you an extra big bonus this week Perez, otherwise you would have used this pic or this pic.
Any other celebrity (except Parisite) and you would've been talking about how "shiteous" they look, but for Lindsay you comment on her lipstick.
Douchebag.
"Tommy Lee And Josh Duhamel Get Into A Girlfight!"
Perez, you're such a fuckin' moron sometimes that you hurt my head.
Tommy's not even looking in that direction, so why photoshop an arrow in there? (and PS, we've all seen Pam's tits, you don't need to point them out to us).
And not only is your photoshopping ridiculously stupid, but you can't even SPELL! (but really, should that surprise me at this point?) What the hell does "fucke" mean you blithering idiot?
"That's So Wrong!"
OMG Perez! Do you really have the audacity to judge others on the way they dress? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'd rather see Raven in this dress then you in that hideous 50s diner outfit you were wearing on MOD.
You're a walking disaster. Clean yourself up and lose a few (hundred) pounds before you rag on the way others dress.
PS - Perez, I think you need to seek counselling for your Star Jones fetish. Do you even realize how many posts you've made about her lately? WHO CARES?!?!
[ by Anonymous, 6/29/2006 --
 
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34 Comments:
You should be made of his bombastic headlines which are all in the same style
"Britney is trash!"
"Babs is over!"
"Janet is a Ho!"
"Star On Larry King: Yes, I Had "The Surgery" Fuckers!"
"Bitch is Ugly!"
"That's So Wrong!
I've never seen anyone overuse exclamation marks as much since Shania Twain ("Down! down! down! can only go down from heeere!")
damn you! i run to answer the phone and i come back to you beating me at being first! i didn't think someone else would be here THAT quickly, LOL!
THIRD! I got THIRD! Not EVEN second? Do you people LIVE on this site??? LOL! (again)
More, more more of these posts, please! Loves me some.
7:55 PM
*i meant you should do a parody of his headlines
I AM SO GLAD I FINALLY DECIDED TO CHECK THIS SITE OUT!!!
You're hilarious, and so observant. I noticed every single thing that you noticed. We're such petty, petty people, you and I.
I just love this petty stuff! Makes me giggle.
Do you think some Crabs tried to fly out of his site and attack you Tonya?
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THE TRUTH ABOUT PEREZ HILTON
TWO INTERVIEWS UP
http://lemaisondebrandon.blogspot.com/
Brandon's NO1 fansite on the NETTE!
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That douchebag stole the Raven pic from the Fug Girls, who posted it two weeks ago:
http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/go_fug_yourself/2006/06/thats_so_fugly.html
YESSSSSSS! This is the stuff I was talking about! I love it!
I can't even begin to think why a man who's semi literate has gotten so much attention. His old six six six site was funny because he was so queeny about it all, that it was funny to laugh at him.
He's just so unctious now, he's a posuer to the nth degree.
On another note... does anyone else think it's odd Linday Lohan looks like she's 40 years old? She's rockin' the neck lines and crow's feet. I guess that alcohol, cocaine diet isn't working out so well for her. Eeepers!
Wishing Perezzits goes out and rips the ass out of his pants, just for shits and giggles. Don't look at me, it could very well happen
Add delusional.
He was bragging about getting a lot of hits on Tuesday. When I reminded him that Tuesday was the day that his manhunt profile was posted on a bunch of sites and that was a big reason for his surge in hits, he deleted my comment. If he only had the balls to stand by his behavior. I shouldn't be surprised, he hasn't been even able to see his balls these last two years.
I stopped reading his site way back when he fought with trent from pink. perez is a hideous excuse. he's such an asskisser...i only went to his site today because a mis-informed friend directed me there...she must be taught a lesson now.
good job on this site...i love it!
What was the fight with Trent? I don't remember it. There are funnier gossip blogs around, but I like Trent because he proves that you don't have to be a total asshole to run a funny gossip blog.
---------------------------------------------
THE TRUTH ABOUT PEREZ HILTON
TWO INTERVIEWS UP
http://lemaisondebrandon.blogspot.com/
Brandon's NO1 fansite on the NETTE!
---------------------------------------------
Hey, I've got some pics of Perez on my site, nasty ones, I thought you might like to use.
I really cannot believe that even the people on this site do the "first" posts. Gimme a break... you are supposed to post a COMMENT!
Well, I am glad that I found a site that thinks perez is as greasy as I think he is. Very good site, I'll visit this one more often!
tonya:
"When I clicked on Perez's site, a message box popped up and said my computer had been attacked by some sh*t, but my firewall had repelled it. WTF? Now his site is infested? Thank GOD I have a firewall."
I'll bet it was Parasite's crabs.
***
Ahhh, typical Perez. There's some negative gossip about Lindsay Lohan being a beotch to her stylist making the rounds today, but of course there's no mention of it anywhere on Perez's site. *****************
You know, he's so insignificant that neither she, her publicist or the stylist bothers issuing a denial. He knows they won't bother so he can pretty much do what he wants because he's the human version of a gnat on the ass of mankind.
Bedazzler &
bleach my eyeballs please....
I am thinking it has to be his crabs. They are trying to infest me! Or my computer rather! Gross!!!!
And to respond to
"Jessica said...
I really cannot believe that even the people on this site do the "first" posts. Gimme a break... you are supposed to post a COMMENT!"
Um, I posted first, so by God I can claim FIRST. Don't be jealous b/c you weren't first, OKAY? And if you will LOOK at my post, after posting the word "first" I then went on the MAKE A COMMENT. If you would READ, you'd know that.
Get over yourself.
'Tis Friday eve...Wherefore art thou, Ms. PAH??...
Is someone getting snitty?
"PerezHilton.com
Hollywood's Most Hated Web Site!
Thank You for Commenting
Your comment has been received. To protect against malicious comments, I have enabled a feature that allows your comments to be held for approval the first time you post a comment. I'll approve your comment when convenient; there is no need to re-post your comment."
I have this weird feeling that my comment will never appear.
http://entrylevelheiress.typepad.com/entrylevelheiress/2006/06/ate_too_much_pe.html
My comments don't get published now either. Please note:
Now on most article comments, there are less than 50 of them. I was correct, without the negative or dups NOBODY CARES about poor pig play.
Let's hope this place caught on, and his reign of idiocy will soon be over. If the Canadians would ignore Piggezzle, his "career" would be over in weeks.
Paris seeems to be avoiding him, but nicely so he doesn't attack her. That didn't take long!*that's sexy" I wonder if he'll threaten her like he did the P.R. guy if she won't be seen in public with him?
CALL PEREZ TONIGHT!
Perez's real name is Mario A.Lavandeira, and here's his address and phone number:
8215 WILLOUGHBY AV
WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA 90046
(323) 822-0392
As much as I dislike Perez, I don't think passing that info around or prank calling him is right. And to visit his address is beyond the pale. It's one thing to pass around the naked pix that he himself put on the web, but this is his HOME we're talking about.
I don't know, I don't mean to sound like a pollyanna, but I don't think this type of behavior should be encouraged. Of course, Perez put the personal info of one of his spammers up on HIS site once, so in a way he is no better.
Ugh, I don't know. As much fun as raggin' on him is, I might just stop going to his site altogether, because so many things about it give me the creeps.
He is creepy isn't he? Well I wouldn't bother calling him, I think most of the people posting here wouldn't either. Who'd waste their time?
Now he's saying he was nearly in a fight with Taye Diggs, Puleeze... I think if he had the chance to roll around on a dirty floor with Taye he'd be all over that shit, snorting a rutting! Anyway he's lame and he's in his glory when he can name drop people he sees out in a club who won't acknowledge he's even alive.
He's full of drivel.
Where are the poorasses? There's gold on that site that needs flaming! Chop Chop, kids!
Perez WANTS you to ring him up on the telephone!
M-a-r-i-o
A.
L-a-v-a-n-d-e-i-r-a
(also known as Perez)
lives at:
8215 WILLOUGHBY AV
WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA 90046 (323) 822-0392
This may be outdated:
160 WAVERLY PL
NEW YORK, NY 10014
(212) 352-2033
Now that you have his phone number, call Perez and let him know what you think of:
-His outing other homosexuals
-His surly responses to fans
-His rapidly expanding waistline
-His self loathing
-Payola
-Paris "Herpes" Hilton
-His claims of heterosexual activity with Vanessa
-His fear of Tyson Beckford
-His legal difficulties regarding stolen checks
It's peppered to call Perez - call him tonight!
This was the best comment from the Pajiba blog, which is great! Dustin wrote a review of Perez H's site.
Posted by: landy at February 17, 2006 06:38 AM
Oh come on now, give the boy a break. If you had as much fluid pressing on your brain as Perez obviously does, you’d do and say some strange things yourself. I mean just look at him. He gives all self respecting hydrocephalics a bad name. It has got to be hell trying to balance that incredibly huge cranium on those shoulders 24/7. And then he’s got those Clydesdale teeth to deal with. Frankly, he looks like a cross between Bessie the mule and Mama Cass.
He ass kisses so many..
love this site..keep it going!!!!
Love Tom Jones
I don't think someone is an idiot to keep visiting Perez's site even though they hate it. It's like watching a slow-motion trainwreck.
I realize I add to his hits when I go there, although I never click on any ads and couldn't even tell you who any of his advertisers are (Ben Sherman maybe? I know Peerez likes to sport their free shirts three sizes too small). But I don't care. The chaos that is perezhilton.com is just too entertaining.
I also like to read his comments because people really hate that fat bastard and some of that shit is hilarious. I also like to see how many permutations of "why do u come here if you hate it, haterz?" that Perez and his mentally challenged minions can come up with.
PoorAss, please stop. Your rat-a-tat posts feel like an assault. Gather your thoughts into one comprehensive essay, or pick and choose a few things to respond to. I don't mean to be hurtful but I feel I must point out ... you're no longer the one in charge.
your presence is intrusive. and your pretty obnoxious every time you post. yr just another poster now so maybe you should dial it back a notch, just so you know no one enjoys your avalanche of posts homie
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